I don’t know if it’s my bipolar/ADD regurgitating or clutter in the brain that has no direction. Ideas chaotic, a mess that seems to work until it doesn’t. It’s only later when I wonder why things aren’t getting done that I realize how much time I’ve lost planning and thinking but not doing. I’ve been unable to follow through with simple things these past few days.. hence my lack of posting not excluded. Even utilizing all of my reminder apps and alarms, I’ve snoozed or dismissed schedule. I’m getting ready to kick myself… sadly I’d probably procrastinate that too.
Am I just being lazy or too ahead of myself? Probably a bit of both. Having almost every mental health diagnosis thrown at me has me in patterns thinking about avoidance like some helpful crutch. Instead I should be brainstorming solutions like I have conquerable goals.
Every moment matters even the ones that don’t look good, sound rational or fair or times I’d just rather be somewhere else. I have gratitude that I am where I am at any given time in life but when I don’t include these realities in adapting forward… I get these brainfarts. It stinks. Mindfulness and present thinking help me move forward productively.
Easier said than done.. maybe.
